i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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