Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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