Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
false alarm, still single
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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