the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
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He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
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This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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