The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
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and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
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Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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