He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
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I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
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Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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