i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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