hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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