Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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