When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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