i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Enjoy the penises
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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