Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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