trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize