i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
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