I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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