i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
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was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
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There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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