HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Fuck appropriateness.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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