the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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