I'm lost and stupid without you.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
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No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize