I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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