i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize