Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize