Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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