She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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