i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
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Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
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Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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