I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
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I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
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So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
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