I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize