went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
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how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
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Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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