Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize