yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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