my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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