Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize