is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
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Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
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I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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