did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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