that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
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In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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