So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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