Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize