If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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