So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
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We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
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Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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