Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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