The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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