Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
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After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
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She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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