At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
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If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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