whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize