My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize