I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
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Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
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So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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