My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
We smell like vodka and hangover
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