My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize