hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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