Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
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I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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