who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
There are leaves in my underwear?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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